Saturday, June 5, 2010

Speaking of Asshole Housewives...

Sigh. Well, I guess I'll jump ship over to Atlanta. Peaches are good. I like peaches.

Real Housewife of New Joyzee star, Teresa Giudice and her goomba husband Joe, apparently owe $11 million according to the New York Post. Eleven fucking million. The couple are reported to make just under $79,000 a year and are up to their necks in liens, foreclosures and unpaid bills. The Giudices say that they own creditors $10,853,648.04. Gurl. Honey child. Wtf?

Teresa loves to splurge all her fucking theoretical money on designer clothes, her future slut daughters, and meatballs (both the food and her husband's). The list goes on and on with these two. They owe money for their Cadillac (duh), Joe's vasectomy (oh Lawd), and for their daughter Gia's 9th birthday party, she got an all-terrain vehicle (you should be shot). These assholes deserve to go to jail. Meanwhile, I continue to live in the shack behind my landlady's house with my best friends, asbestos and mold. 

Here's how the post breaks this shit down:

Behind the bankruptcy filing 
What the Giudices make a year:
$79,000 (plus $120,000 in “assistance” from family members)

What they owe: $10,853,648.04
Credit Cards

including $20,000 to Bloomingdale’s, Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom

$1,280 monthly payment for Cadillac Escalade



for eight mortgages on three homes (two have been handed back to lenders)

$5.8M Joe's business investments

$85,600 Home repairs

$12,000 Fertility treatments
$2,300 Phone bill

Seriously? $2,300 for a phone bill? Too good for Skype, huh? I can just picture Danielle rolling over and laughing in her Vampire coffin. She's probably diddling to the news. I know how Teresa can make her money. She can take a page from Danielle Staub's book and become a PROSTITUTION WOAAAAR. 

Good fucking luck Guidos. Maybe you can sell your jars of tomato sauce for extra moolah.

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